Occasionally it is necessary to address a problem that does not exist. If it ain't broke don't fix it is not a True Toiredike concept and one that sits comfortably only with the alien ways of the Goyim that you fix only that which requires fixing. We in Toire true fashion fix everything, and if it ain't broke we give it a hechsher and raise the prices. Or of it ain't broke and is kosher we remove the hechsher like Frohwein sausages and at a stroke there are only vile sausages tasting like a cross between a rat and the animal a streimel comes from.
But that's that. Now we are talking about the far more important non-existent problem of parents not contributing sufficiently towards their children's school fees. Non-existent because according to buffoon yitzchok to suggest otherwise is an 'alien mentality which has no basis in reality or in Torah-based hashkofoh'. So there you have it from the ferd's mouth, whatever the facts you must deny them if they are contrary to hashkofoh. With buffoons like ours who needs the wise?
So to comply and nail our colours to a Torah-true mast let's fix this one firmly to its bent down. In Stamford Hill the general enthusiasm to pay school fees is such that schools don't have fees collectors or people who call at all hours on the phone and in person to collect the fees. And heaven forbid any of them should be working on commission. I mean commission for what? For something that people queue round the block to pay 3 weeks before beginning of term? And of the writer who suggested otherwise he well deserved being taken so wittily to task by the buffoon. What did he expect? A few kind words reminding him that Mars bars are treif no matter how hard the NW shkotzim will try and suggest otherwise? Then that guy has the chutzpah to suggest that some people prefer LUXURY to paying for their offsprings' Torah-true education. We don't have LUXURY food, buffoon, we have food with Kedassia hechsher.
Walk into any food shop and people survive on nothing more than natural yogurts, lousy salami and vanilla ice cream. A doughnut is something the wealthier amongst us taste on Chanukah. Otherwise, every spare penny goes straight to the school. And we're not talking here fees of £30 a week. Who do you think we are? Some school of the type frequented by our ruchniesdike impoversihed bretheren off the North Circular where kids have TVs but no shas? Nah, not us. Let them eat falafel and teach their kids how to marry shikses and we'll continue paying our fees. £20,000 a term schools for each of our 11+ kinderlach keneinehore without a penny of subsidy from HSA, thank you very much. And then to think that some people should have the self hatred to suggest that those school fees aren't paid up front. Let's make it clear: we pay 50 percent when the waters break and the balance at the circumcision 8 days later, unless the baby was held up by the marvellous labour support group in which case payment may be a couple of days later.
So let me give you my trademark truth. So pure and unadulterated that you only have to look at it and it may turn into a lie. Truth of the rarest and most delicate specimen. You know the new state-aided school, the one I have occasionally my reasons to criticise when the cops' chaplain usurps me in the press, well even there parents are falling over themselves to part with their cash. And they never finish paying. The girls leave school and 1 years later they're back as teachers subsidising the school on their martyrdom wages and 1 year after that they're back again introducing their betrothed ('beloved' is still about 5 weeks away, assuming it ever arrives) to the delights of the school dinner hall and again it's a cheque but this time a double one. And yet it's an all singing and dancing event.
So, down with the hefkeirus of the youth and the anonymity of poison pens. I have always announced to the world my true identity because I believe in what I have not got to say and say what I do not believe secure in the knowledge that if you believe it why repeat it?