I know it's only two days to Purim and you may think that what I'm about to tell you is a seasonal spoof. Trust me that this is not the case as even if I tried I could not have made it up.
In the Hamodia of two weeks ago we were given yet another photo of the great man, this time not in the company of other great men but in front of a lectern. This is a relatively rare occurrence and indeed it was not in the N16 area where we must make do with his beneficence on our behalf but where we rarely get to hear the great man himself. Of course he pops up in Edgware for fostering in Hackney and Haringey and the ripple effects instantly reach the boundaries of Waltham Forest. He was investing in our future with a Ken photo op which he also did with Jeffrey Archer so who said he lacks political nous? And now he's done it again by popping up at no less a place than the Rabbinical Council of the United Synagogue.
Actually this may have been one of the better matched engagements on his very busy schedule since a 'rabbi' and rabbis ordinarily go well together. Never mind that many of these rabbis would get nowhere close to any of 'his' schools but it was pay back time. The Chief was hosted at YHS and despite the news blackout that was imposed even at the newspaper he graciously advises a reciprocal visit was in order and the invitation duly arrived.
So what did the great man choose to talk about? Liberty and Freedom? Nah, that's for Guardian readers only and not something to bestow upon his co-religionists. Tznius, perhaps? That would have been easy and he could have made a visual presentation aided by the graphic sheets handed out at ‘his’ school. But no, that too was given a miss. How about the evils of nepotism? Now, that's getting personal and we ought to set that one aside.
Let me not keep you in suspense any longer. According to the Hamodia the speech included 'his many years of experience dealing with local authorities and government departments in his roles in school governance…'
How could I have missed it? Since governance has always been in the remit of the 'principal' and little to do with the chair of board of governors there are few who can speak on the subject with such authority. Topics would surely have included transparency of the frosted window type, communicating with parents and how not to do it, raising revenue through the school hall, tips from the missus on menus for school dinners, creating a budget surplus and the black hole to keep it safe and, as a final topic, being in control without being in the chair. Fascinating topics each and every one and let us hope the questions, if any, that followed were of the planted variety as one does when VIPs come knocking.
I should also suggest that in light of this year's enlightened choice of speaker the Rabbinical Council might wish to consider for their next bash inviting Boris to talk on sholem bayis followed by Murdoch on privacy. Should they be otherwise engaged they can always opt for Chris Hune to discuss the Highway Code.
Or if all else fails, how about the Sun editor on Tznius?